I have demons in me.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
