dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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