She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
