So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
