When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
