I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
COCAINE IS GR8
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
