he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
