It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
