i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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