I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
