I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
