How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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