your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Randomize
