How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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