But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
