I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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