I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
