i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize
