i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
