i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
