We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
