How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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