So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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