That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
