YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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