Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I need to sanitize my soul.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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