I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
