Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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