just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
