No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
