well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
