Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
