I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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