I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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