he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
sex in a hospital.. check
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
