I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
