it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
