I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
