is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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