She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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