There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
