I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Congratulations! We have a period
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