i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
