I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
3pm strippers are depressing
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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