some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
