I cockslap morals
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
It was a blind-side dick pic.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
