Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
