Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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