And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
