My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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