Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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