i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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